The Bar Sinister

The Bar Sinister[Read] ➬ The Bar Sinister Author Linda Berdoll – Heartforum.co.uk Every woman wants to be Elizabeth Bennet Darcy beautiful gracious universally admired strong daring and outspoken a thoroughly modern woman in crinolines And every woman will fall madly in love with M Every woman wants to be Elizabeth Bennet Darcy beautiful gracious universally admired strong daring and outspoken a thoroughly modern woman in crinolines And every woman will fall madly in love with Mr Darcy tall dark and handsome a nobleman and a heartthrob whose virility The Bar MOBI :Ä is matched only by his utter devotion to his wifeTheir passion is consuming and idyllic essentially they can't keep their hands off each other through a sweeping tale of adventure and misadventure human folly and numerous mysteries of parentageHold on to your bonnets This sexy epic hilarious poignant and romantic seuel to Pride and Prejudice is not for Jane Austen purists Self published in as The Bar Sinister this seuel continues the story of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy through a sweeping tale of adventure.

wwwlindaberdollus in digital and paperback on and BNcom Her books are on the shelves of Barnes Noble and available to order through bookstores large and smallReview for The Ruling Passion From AustenprosecomBest selling author Linda Berdoll's Mr Darcy Takes A Wife and Darcy Elizabeth The Bar MOBI :Ä have been hailed as sexy hilarious poignant and wild bawdy and utterly enjoyable Booklist The Ruling Passion her highly anticipated seuel to the seuels has finally come to fruition If your sensibilities are offended by explicit passionate love scenes with Jane Austen's original namesakes this is presumably NOT the book for you However those who delight in reading about the Darcys beyond Pride and Prejudice including all their complexities and intimacies in and around the bedroom and most particularly if you are a fan of Berdoll's previous works The Ruling Passion is not to be missed Yes hold on to your bonnets as Linda Berdoll has uite done it again Christina Boyd of starsIn a change of pace from her Jane Austen seuels Linda released Fandango in This tale takes place in th C San Francisco In this entirely original work our heroine young Annabella Chase comes to learn that it's one thing to go asking for trouble uite another to offer it a chairWhile researching her Pride Prejudice seuels she collected a vast store of euphemistic grandilouence and wove it into a small gift book titled Very Nice Ways to Say Very Bad Things.

The Bar Sinister PDF ï The Bar  MOBI :Ä
  • Paperback
  • 465 pages
  • The Bar Sinister
  • Linda Berdoll
  • English
  • 04 June 2015
  • 9781402202735

10 thoughts on “The Bar Sinister

  1. Khanh, first of her name, mother of bunnies says:

    Let's face it we are all idiots when it comes to our OTP one true pairing We want to see them in love We want to see them live their happily ever after I don't know about you but I would happily read about Valek and Yelena setting up house and living in domestic bliss It's not fucking boring dammit It's loveThe same goes for Darcy and Elizabeth I don't give a fuck that they don't do anything Hell they're already in love There's nothing else there but reading about them making googly eyes at each other I don't care I love them I'll read about them taking 1000000 walks together if it means I see the two of them together As I said readers are stupid when it cones to their OTPs That my friends is why I read Pride and Prejudice fan fiction And that's why I enjoyed this book Yeah You heard me This book has so many haters and I don't even care It is terrible I don't even care Darcy and Elizabeth do nothing but fuck like bunnies throughout the book I don't even care They're my OTPs That's all I want To observe them living out their fairy tale romance Allow me to write a poem to this book They fuck in the countryside they fuck in townThey fucked so long and hard that it ruined Elizabeth's gownThey fuck in bed they fuck outsideBut who cares I for one will let it slideThey fuck on their bed looking into the mirrorWhatever it just makes them feel even dearer They fuck in his study and then in her boudoirThey fuck and fuck and then they fuck some They fuck with Georgina in the next roomThey fuck when the weather is sunny or full of gloomThey fuck with gusto with unabashed glee And really that's just per fucking dandy with meNothing happens in this book but Liz and Darcy screwing each other like bunnies And I ain't even sorry

  2. Valerie says:

    I was so happy to see that GoodReads allows you to rate something with zero stars If ever a book merited such treatment it is this one This book is so BAD it is unintentionally funny Very funny My favorite sentences so farPropitious fortune allowed her to descry whom the crepuscular light yieldedThe single unseemliness bechanced in her dressing roomWhilst still partaking of their meal Darcy apologised unnecessarily upon the austere winter dressing of his countyIn the pristine morning light it was not an inuisition of her configuration he sought for he had upon a few occasions long past perused a womanly portalBelieve me folks the whole thing reads like this I am NOT making this up I was drowning in in a sea of betwixt 82 times and howbeits 59 times Many of the sentences are downright be cramped with broken sentence structure and overwrought language All things are besoiled bedewed begrimed bechanced Nothing is ever dewed or grimed or soiled No one ever sits between two people it is indubitably betwixt Even if you can ignore the horrible writing you will be affronted by the sub par romanticerotic plotting and descriptions womanly portals and nether garments indeedThanks to 's Search Inside feature If you want a good laugh go there for this book and search on the term nether The excerpts are exuisite

  3. Cori says:

    SO BAD This is just smutty fanfiction that someone was able to get published Sex which was done very stupidly is on every other page and the characters have been given new and less flattering backgrounds Mr Darcy is a well endowed sex god who has been spreading his love around since he was 16 Elizabeth while still a virgin was ready to give it up to Darcy before marriage and would have if not for an interruption I just felt like I was growing to dislike these characters who I have always held in such regard Austen's characters deserve so much better than thisThe author seems to have spent some time trying to understand the vocabulary of Austen's time and then dumped every word she knew into every other sentence Austen's books flow this book stumbles in vocab overloadThis book starts with a slam on Austen from Bronte While it might be true I can think of better ways to honor such a literary goddess than by fixing her flaws And as a note to the author if I was pompous enough to try to fix Austen's flaws I might have tried to write something a little better than flowery smut It's called a plot prechance thou shall persuse its meaningDon't read this book I would have given it zero stars but then someone might have taken that as a no rating and been swindled into reading it

  4. Alicia says:

    When you want a taste of Tudor England do you turn to Shakespeare or do you watch The Tudors? You answer might determine whether or not you would enjoy Mr Darcy Takes a Wife a book that tries to hide the fact that it is a romance novel by pretending that it might have been imagined by Jane AustenI can’t decide if this is a bad book or not To me there is a time and a place for the trashiness of The Tudors or The Other Bolyn Girl or the part of the BBC Pride and Prejudice when Colin Firth climbs out of the pond in his clingy shirt That time for me anyway is when I need a break from whatever highbrow pursuits I might usually undertake When in other words I just want to be entertained by pretty people walking through pretty landscapes wearing pretty period clothes And you know doing itMr Darcy Takes a Wife begins with a note from the author about what a prude Jane Austen was It offers this “seuel” as an antidote – and that’s the warning sign right there on page iv Actually perhaps the warning sign comes earlier than you realize that you’ve never heard of this author OR the publisher before You know what that means other nobler artists and editors turned this idea downAt first the story doesn’t seem all that bad The writing is almost kind of uaint lots of words like “hence” “solicitous” and “chastement” If you’re drunk maybe you can even convince yourself that it sounds a little like a real Jane Austen book And it opens with our beloved heroine Lizzy Bennett Darcy thinking back on her romantic lustful wedding night That’s not so bad is it? Haven’t you always kind of wondered if they made as good a married couple as they did enemies?But then by about page 18 the references to Mr Darcy’s “easily agitated male instrument” begin They don’t stop And some of the descriptions are almost nightmarish “manhood” although fine I expected that one “ampleness of his credentials” “commodious organ” “explicit bulge in the fork of his unhintables” and so on Yes on that trashy level maybe it’s fun to read about how well endowed Mr Darcy is and I'm not talking about his money And yet I’m not sure I fully appreciate it Will I be able to read Pride and Prejudice again without thinking of his “unhintables?” I really hope soMy annoyance at the language culminates with the author’s use of the word “compleat” It’s on just about every page compleat compleatly compleatness etc Come on You are not Jane Austen you don’t live in olden times – none of us are so confused to believe any of that so I’m pretty sure you can use the modern spellingRight now my scales are tipping towards the idea that this book sucks I just can’t decide whether it sucks so bad that it’s actually awesomePS I just read this line which is tipping the scales towards 'sucks' In discussing Kitty Bennett's propensity for swooning in front of potential suitors the author says Kitty puts her hand on the back of her forehead Ok So I think we all know what she MEANT was back of the hand to the forehead since the back of the forehead is what? The brain? But back of the forehead made it into the final draft the draft that made its way onto a bookshelf I didn't want to say so before but now it appears that this book was edited by some livestock It's called proofreading and everyone from first grade forward is encouraged to do it

  5. Edallia says:

    and sometimes to torture myself I read seuels to Pride and Prejudice Hey it's published fanfiction How cool is that?So my personal disclaimer is that I don't expect these seuel writers to write just like Jane Austen I don't even want them to try If they do they will fail Period I would just prefer them to write well It covers a multitude of sinsOn the book at hand this was originally published under the title The Bar Sinister and I did wonder why the title had been changed until I read it Because this book isn't so much about whether or not Mr Darcy has an illegitimate son to uote a far superior Austen adaptation As IF as it is about the fact that people Mr Darcy takes a wife A lot All over the place In various non sexy and increasingly contrived scenariosAs if that wasn't non stimulating enough the prose is positively florid and convoluted and actually unreadable in parts I'm not going to go after specific examples because I would never stop but I would like to take this opportunity to introduce Ms Berdoll to the word between Honey no one is torn betwixt two lovers they're not betwixt a rock and a hard place and nobody sits betwixt Bob and Sally at dinner Okay? If it wasn't for the direct uote from Love and Freindship and the vague allusion to one of Austen's letters I wouldn't even believe that Ms Berdoll has read any of Austen's work I doubt she's read Pride and Prejudice I think she saw the AE miniseries 97 times thought Mr Darcy was hot and sat down to write the ultimate self insertion wish fulfillment fantasy fanficWhich is exactly how this thing reads Elizabeth gets a thoroughbred horse Elizabeth gets a huge diamond necklace Elizabeth gets her portrait painted And she gets to christen every room of Pemberley with that hot Colin FirthOops I meant Mr Darcy Then after all the hot monkey lovin' everyone but ED start multiplying like rabbits all over the place Mr Collins is randomly killed off in some strange Rube Goldberg seuence Elizabeth fires a pistol at Lady Catherine Who wets herself Various characters take off to the Poorly Researched War And the presumed dead Wickham rides up over the hill on his valiant steed like a zombie clawing his way out of the grave in a horror movie And speaking of research No I'm NOT done yet it probably wouldn't have killed Ms Berdoll to you know do some of that Who the heck is SIR LUCAS? And on one memorable occasion LORD Lucas? You don't have to be an expert on the British peerage to know that a knight is addresed by Sir Firstname not Sir Lastname Why all you'd have to do is consult that pesky source material Which also would have told the author that Darcy's mother's name was Anne not Elinor Wait a minute I take that back Ms Berdoll did do some pretty extensive research On Regency slang for naughty parts and the sex act So at least we all learned something

  6. Nat Savage says:

    Someone PLEASE for the love of god take away Linda Berdoll's thesaurus She uses it like holy water to ward off her sinfully atrocious plot and subplots The tawdry crime of affixing era appropriate collouialisms ie gel chit the ton the season should only remain in lower brow period romance novels Not to speak against insipid salacious romance novels I am a fan; however Berdoll managed to make a complete mockery of Jane Austen's timeless classic She has sullied the name of Elizabeth Bennett with talk of uivering manhoods and trembling bosoms and I am sure Austen has made 20 revolutions in her grave by now

  7. Susan says:

    I'm embarrassed to admit it this was a totally enjoyable book Unlike the yawn inducing Mr Knightly's Diary this took great liberties with the plot taking off where the original leaves off First this is not Jane Austen This will never be Jane Austen as Jane Austen is dead Purists shouldn't be reading Austen fan fic to begin with That said the author throws down a gauntlet in the forward with a uote from smack talking Charlotte Bronte who writes that Austen can't write past the wedding because she herself knew nothing about the physical pleasure that comes after If you're rolling your eyes just reading this don't bother with the book If you're the sort of person who giggles and says Aw snap Charlotte then this is a fun ride The plot is lusty to say the least There's a lot of sex here in uite a number of settings The language at times is florid to the point of silly especially the Regency era sex slang But one of my main complaints with Mr Knightly's Diary is that it was a true to the original retelling from a different point of view and exposed a re imagined side of Knightly that was really unlikable This shares none of the plot of the original but is true to who Austen's characters were in the original In this book Elizabeth is Elizabeth Darcy does what Darcy does and Lydia behaves as we expect her to etc I would rather read about characters I like than re read a plot I already know I know this book has had TERRIBLE reviews on Goodreads but I thought it was a fun page turner with a surprising amount of integrity to Austen's original vision Mock if you want; I can take it

  8. Catarina says:

    4 Delightful Stars So this book is pretty much a fan faction of what happens with Mr and Mrs Darcy after their happy ending in the original book Since Jane Austen did uite long ago and is not alive to tell herself what happens next some author decide to create their story themselves And Kudos for making it sexy I’m not telling the story because c’mon what living person doesn’t know what this book is all about? I’ve read Pride Prejudice for the first time when I was 7 years old It was my first romance book and it was the first of many maaaaaaaaaany I’ve re read it countless times until the point of being able to uote some parts of it and still today is my favorite book People close to me are always surprised how I can read the same thing over and over again but f they don’t know the beauty of this book well that’s on them I was a little apprehensive to start this “seuelists” or whatever the hell they are called books afraid of ruining my image of the book forever that was probably why it took me some years to finally start but let me tell you I should have started sooner I understand that some Jane Austen purists will probably hate this but for me a lover of all things after the HEA it checked all my boxes It had a little bit drama that I would have liked but overall it was a nice look into their lives as a married couple And a lot of Mr Darcy is never too much Mr Darcy It definitely opened some doors for me and I will keep reading this type of fan fictions After all if I can have of my favorite couple why not? If only there was some like this about Persuasion Rating Characters Development Mr Darcy is Mr Darcy aka the book character that ruined all our expectations for man and Lizzie is her awesome self There’s really not much to be said Except for the moment where I almost wanted to beat Mr Bingley And he was one of my favorites Steam Heated scenes Sensible Subjects view spoiler Violence Attempted rape Abortion hide spoiler

  9. Lara says:

    Trashy funtotally satisfying Yes a trashy book can be satisfying indeed Mr Darcy Takes a Wife filled a massive void in my life what the heck happens to Darcy and Elizabeth after Pride and Prejudice????I have no idea how many times I've read Pride and Prejudice It is at least an bi annual tradition I also tend to wallow in a self imposed gloom if I don't get to watch the BBC's most excellent divinely inspired 1995 mini series Pride and Prejudice at least once a year Berdoll's book has offended many Austen purists but I think she did a great service to those of us who are incurably let's say imaginative about the future lives of Darcy and Lizzie The book is long on details pretty explicit sexually hence the offense and uite melodramatic Her treatment of minor characters in Pride and Prejudice is wonderful particularly that of Col Fitzwilliam and Georgiana Darcy She clearly loves the story and the characters dearlySo once I finished this book I immediately read it again Then I re read the good parts Then I read it again Yes the void has been filled I'm sure I will read this book again maybe every five years or so Linda Berdoll is not Jane Austen She does not replace or try to complete with Miss Austen But she has my respect for taking her fantasy to print for the enjoyment of those of us who are like minded in our adoration of Darcy and Elizabeth and Jane Austen

  10. Nicole says:

    Please don't read this book or if you feel compelled to please don't tell me you did unless it is with the intent to vent your anger and frustration that such a travesty was ever published If you do not feel highly protective of Darcy Lizzie Jane Austen and all her writing stands for you might get some enjoyment out of this book If you love Jane for her satire and excellent but unforced language as well as respectable characters you might be brought to tears or to burning this bookJust a few of the myriad problems and I give Dovey credit for identifying some of these Horrible sex scenes that have nothing in common with what we would expect from Lizzie and Darcy after PP Word choice that is meant to be in the spirit of Jane's language yet is pretentious and totally misses the spirit of how Jane wrote General behavior that is constantly out of character including extreme weak spiritedness and self pity out of Lizzie; a new crude sex maniac alpha dog attitude from Darcy; and gentle Georgiana running off to become a nurse in France during the Napoleonic War for god's sakeIf you are looking for nothing than a romance novel with fancy language and characters who just happen to share names with some illustrious literary figures you might be pretty happy with your choice Outside of that don't waste your time

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